VVS.

The first time was in Middle School. 

It seemed like every year they had new shot to give us--for Hepitits B or D or G or whatever.  We didn't know what was going on; all we knew was that there was cookies and juice at the end.  I was not nervous.  I couldn't remember the last time I'd gotten a shot, and people told me it didn't hurt much.

And it didn't.  But then the nurse looked at me real funny.  "Are you okay?" she says.  I was sort of weirded out.  "You're so pale.  I'm going to have you lay down."  She instructs me to lay on the floor and put my feet on a chair.  Cookies appear.  So do the guys.  Mitch, John, Mike all look down at me, smiling.  More mocking.  Showing any sign of weakness was not the way to continue to be the first girl picked for their team in gym class.

The same thing happened next year.  

 I begin to get nervous before shots.

I'm going to be a lifeguard.


Which requires several more shots.  I'm 16 now, so it's been a while and I barely remember what happened in Middle School.  I get my shots, my mom drives me home.  No big deal!  I feel fine.  I go upstairs to take a shower.  A couple minutes after the hot water starts running over me, I begin to get dizzy.  My vision blurs. I turn off the water, thinking I'm overheated.  I stand there.  Everything goes black.  I stumble out of the shower and fall over.

It's the summer before college. 

You have to get more shots for college living.  I'm nervous.  Dan comes with me.  The nurse is puzzled.  "I'm going to pass out," I mutter.  "Well.  That's good to know," she says.  Dan holds my hand.  The needle goes in.  I fall over.  "Like clockwork..." I hear her exclaim before everything goes black.

When I come 'round, I'm introduced to the term "Vasovagal syncope" for the first time.  My hands are tingling.

I'll do anything to go to Japan. 

Even get another shot.  I get dizzy.  I get juice.

I decide to get contacts?

It's the summer before my wedding and there's no way I'm walking down the aisle in hipster glasses.  I go to the eye doctor to get some contacts.  I have sensitive eyes, like my dad.  The doctor puts the contacts in for me.  My new vision startles my brain, and I feel nausea coming on, but don't say anything.  "Are you okay?" says the eye doctor.  "Yes, yes, I'm totally fine," I keep saying.  Apparently I'm pale.  He makes me lay down.  I feel ridiculously stupid.  "Does this happen to other people?" I ask.  "All the time."  Really?

"Have you gotten your flu shot this year?" the nurse asks.

"Yes!  Last month."  - No, I didn't.  It's just... easier.  

"And now we'll check your cholesterol... it just involves a small prick on your finger..."

"No, please... I mean," Shit. "I... I pass out around needles, er... different things... I don't know.  I just don't feel like passing out this morning.  If that's okay."

Female examination time. 

I am not nervous.  I have nothing to hide.  Nudity has never really bothered me since college.  I don't know what that implies.  Heck, maybe I'm finally just comfortable in my own skin.

I'm getting dressed after the exam when it hits me.  Everything gets blurry.  At least I have my pants on, I think.  I stumble to the door.  The nurse comes over.  I keep apologizing.  She says something about the chair.  "I'm sorry," I say.  "mmmfmmfm chair," she says.  I blankly look at the chair.  I can barely see the chair.  "hrmmmhr chair, please," she says.  I put my hand on the chair.  "Sit down in the chair."  I sit.  The room spins.  She has me lay down.  I keep apologizing.  My hands tingle.  She covers me with blankets and gives me crackers.

The whole time I just keep thinking, "What's the heck is wrong with me?"