I collect life experiences haphazardly, hurriedly, desperate, and frantic. I've been to state parks and landmarks. I've adopted a rabbit. I've ran a 10k.
Yet none of these things clearly define me as a Minnesotan. Am I one? I've changed my plates and got a new license. My zip code starts with 5-5, my phone number with 6-1-2. I've been here for five years. When people ask me where I'm from, I now say Minneapolis instead of Wisconsin.
I've collected some other Minnesota quirks over the past five years that may or may not make me Minnesotan. I'll let you be the judge of that.
1. I've sort-of stopped saying 'bubbler.' I've been mocked and stared at too many times in the past five years for this word to remain an active part of my vocabulary. Yet, every time I catch myself saying "drinking fountain," a part of me dies a little. "Bubbler" is such a common part of a Wisconsinite's vocabulary, which isn't even strange until you move someplace else. It would be like if your whole life, your teachers, parents, friends, strangers, all called a dog a "bowdiggity." You never have had any reason to believe it's been called anything but a bowdiggity. And the word makes sense. Dogs say "bow." But then you go to another state and people burst out laughing. They wonder what you're talking about. They point. "That? Are you talking about the dog? That's called a dog." And you feel immense shame.
2. I've got a friend with a cabin. Two, actually. Wait, three. A true mark of being Minnesotan is taking the occasional trip to "the lake" with a friend who has a cabin--where boat rides and barbeques are the status quo. This ties closely in with #3, which is:
3. I've been "Up North." "Up North" is a term that Minnesotans use to refer to the place between the Northern Metro and Lower Canada. If you've gone "Up North," you've generally driven anywhere between 2 and 8 hours to get to a vaguely secluded place with lots of trees. It is only "Up North" where you can experience, #4:
4. I've heard loons call to each other at night. It is one of my new favorite sounds since moving to Minnesota.
5. I've been mildly disappointed by the Cherry Spoon. You know, I've probably been to that thing 15 times, and it's always...just... well, you know. It's self-explanitory.
6. I no longer think people mean New York when they say they're from Rochester.
This one took a while. I think I actually didn't figure this out until earlier this year, when I started my job at the U of M library and noticed there were a lot of requests coming from Rochester....Minnesota. Huh!
7. I've ridden in a car on a frozen lake. Tried-and-True Minnesotan behavior! Throwing caution to the wind on 4 feet of ice in the middle of February. No, we didn't go ice fishing, and no, I'll probably never do that again, and heck no, it wasn't my car.
8. I've eaten a Juicy Lucy. Which, you know, is just a burger with cheese in the middle, but apparently is a big deal in Minnesota. There's a feud over where the Juicy Lucy originated: The 5-8 Club or Matt's Bar. I've only experienced the 5-8 Club myself, so I can't weigh in on that hefty argument, yet.
There you have it. Am I a Minnesotan? I've done the time. I sometimes stress my "O"s. I've eaten the burger. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. But I do know one thing: No matter how long I live here, no matter who my friends are, no matter what statistics change....
I will never be a Viking's fan.
And maybe that's all that matters in the end.
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