The Pinterest Plague.

Let me preface this post with a nod to all the readers who will fall deaf to my words seeing as I am engaged and I just "don't understand what it's like to be single/not engaged."  I do understand what it is like to not be engaged.  I understand what it's like to think that EVERYBODY is married or engaged and that, at the age of twenty, you will fall prey to the Christian illusion that you are going to die alone single if you don't meet Mr. Hotbod Handsomeface in college.

And then you will say, "Yes but now you ARE engaged and your life is so perfect and you just don't understand."

To which I reply, "You have watched too many Disney movies."  Being engaged does not make your life perfect, nor does it give you that infinite sense of security and self-worth that you so crave.  Those are your own issues that you need to deal with, because no man can bring you that.

But I digress.

The point of this post was to comment on a cyber phenomena called "Pinterest"--the relatively new social media craze mostly among twenty and thirty something women.  The point of this site is a sort of online organizational tool for when you find stuff you like on the internet.  You have different "boards" that you "pin" things to--like a virtual bulletin board.  For example, a "recipe" board will have tons of pictures of chicken soup, fancy hot dish, and cookies shaped like babies.  Clicking on each picture will take you to it's source--in this case, a recipe website.

The most popular boards on Pinterest revolve around recipes, crafts, photography, travel...artsy stuff.  I noticed fairly early on in the game that Pinterest would be a GREAT resource to help organize my wedding thoughts.  (You can view said board here).  I began to notice that I wasn't the only one who thought Pinterest was useful for this purpose.  My cousin was also using it for planning her wedding, one of my other friends was using it for a "Wedding vow renewal" board...and then there was everybody else.  Everybody else, every other female I know (exaguration) was making a wedding board.

So, as is natural on the internet, I started stalking my Facebook/Pinterest friends to see if they were indeed engaged.  Nope.  Mostly dating, some even single.  This bothered me.

This did NOT bother me in the sense of, "Oh, I'm April Walker, and I'm engaged, therefore only I can plan weddings." So don't think that.

I'm not saying it is wrong to dream about your dream/future-y wedding.  Frankly speaking, I never dreamed about it, but that isn't saying that I'm setting myself as a standard.  I realize that most girls dream of big floofy weddings with flowers and bows and $10,000 engagement rings.  It's fun to dream about princessy stuff.

To me, the problem arises when you start to expect those things and expect the person you're marrying to fit that wedding mold.  What if the man you're marrying doesn't want to wear a plaid suit coat, white skinny jeans, salmon bow tie and thick-rimmed glasses?  The wedding is indeed all about the bride, but that doesn't mean you can plan a wedding without a groom.

I thought I was going to marry an art major from Seattle who writes poetry and takes me to museums.  He would talk about the existential postmodernism represented in the paintings and convince me to drink coffee.  He would shop at Urban Outfitters.  He would wear scarfs.

Instead I am marrying a physicist who wins scholarships from NASA and wants to take me to Morocco.  He writes me funny poetry and thinks I'm pretty.  He plays the piano better than I ever will.  He wears the clothes I buy him.

I could have never planned my wedding without having Nathan in my life.  I can't imagine planning a wedding around some strange hypothetical man who may or may not exist. 

Please don't get me wrong.  Look at wedding dresses.  Dream of being pretty.  But if you're picking out the napkins and favors, you may have your priorities out of line.  Even if you plan on joining the American statistic of spending roughly $27,000 on your wedding.  Even if you've "dreamed of this day for forever," consider.  Have you been dreaming of having a really big fancy party and having stability?  Consider: Could you insert any man into your wedding vision and be just as happy, so long as he loved you?